Coping with Conflicts and Criticisms with Grace and Poise

You’re doing a presentation of the marketing plan for a large project in front of your boss and a bunch of other guys from different departments. You’re on a roll; everybody seems in agreement of your suggestions, except…. Bob.

He looks bored, and frankly, it’s obvious that he doesn’t like your plan. At the end of your presentation, he criticizes your work.

I know, being criticized for something you worked hard to complete is frustrating, especially if you were criticized publicly. But it doesn’t have to ruin your day.

There’s a way to deal with communications problems in a way that you and the critic can benefit from.

Avoid Communication Problems by Choosing Your Battles

First, recognize that you already have too much on your mind—deadlines, work, problems, bills to pay, etc. You don’t have to pay attention to every critic, or else you’ll go crazy. Choose your battles, save your energy for the valid and constructive criticisms.

What counts as valid criticism?

Constructive criticisms: If the criticism directly relates to your work, if it’s a matter of integrity, work quality, or productivity, then by all means, pay attention.

Negative criticisms: personal attacks disguised as helpful criticisms, subjective opinions, or the critic just doesn’t like you. If these are the types of criticisms bugging you, just let it go. Chances are the issue isn’t really with you. Perhaps the person criticizing you is just having a bad day, so don’t take it personally.

Dealing with Valid Criticisms like a Pro

Remember, constructive criticism can helps you become better at what you do. Learn to accept it gracefully without breaking down in tears.

Here’s how:

  1. 1. Don’t keep it to yourself- What’s your first  response when someone criticizes your work? You talk to someone, right? That’s good, but you should be careful who you talk to. Don’t go blabbering about to everyone who cares to listen. You’ll look like a whiner if you do that.

  2. 2. Face your critic- Don’t just keep quiet and accept what was said. Seek the critic and request for an explanation of his feedback, this will help you understand why you’re being criticized in the first place.

  3. 3. Don’t forget to thank your critic. Yes I know, it sounds counterintuitive to thank someone saying negative things about you. But that’s exactly my point. Thanking your critic will catch him off guard. It’s also a sign that you’re a professional who knows how to deal with feedback.

  4. 4. Sometimes, the person criticizing you isn’t even aware that he’s being critical. In this case, facing the critic clears the air between you two: he’s aware of his tendencies to be critical, while you have closure.

  5. 5. Understand your preferred style for receiving criticism- People have different ways of dealing with feedback. Some people deal with criticisms well, while others are very sensitive. The key is knowing your mental and emotional capacity for criticisms. Observe yourself, do you prefer to receive feedback the very minute you did something wrong? Or would you prefer to hear it at the end of the day? Would you rather read the feedback by yourself or is it better to have a face-to-face discussion? Once you know which communication style works best for you, let your boss know so he can, hopefully, give you feedback in the way that’s most effective for you.

Dealing with criticism is no fun, but it’s inevitable. I suggest you apply these tips next time you’re getting heat for your work. It may be uncomfortable at first but applying these tips will build your confidence and minimize communication problems in the workplace.

© Incedo Group, LLC

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