We live in a digital world, and communicating seems easier when we can email or text rather than have a conversation face-to-face or via the phone or video chat.  And it’s true, it is often easier, quicker and more expedient.  However, as is often the case expediency means we lose the human connection with people.  In today’s digital world there is a big disconnect between leaders and the people they lead.

Ask most leaders and they would say they feel they are doing a great job as manager, mentor, coach and guide.  Conversely ask the people they manage how they feel about the leaders and you’ll hear they feel underappreciated, undervalued and more of a number than a person to their manager and company.  What’s missing is the human interaction and connection…getting to know and genuinely care about others, compassion for them as people.

Maya Angelou was an amazing woman who connected to people at the heart level.  One of my favorite quotes from her is:  “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  I know firsthand this to be true from my own experience.  In fact I believe a large reason for my success is because of the relationships I have built over the years…how I make them feel.

We lead busy lives and that causes stress.  Children, family challenges, health issues, work/life balance considerations, career desires and more keep most of us in a steady state of some level of stress. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our boss/our company cared enough about our well being to know or even consider how all of these life issues impact us.  That’s where compassion comes in. 

I have a client who over the last year has been plagued by a number of health issues, some requiring surgery and others that required her to telecommute more frequently than is typical.  She shared with me that her boss had said to her that her health was interfering with her ability to manage as she wasn’t in the office often enough.  He couldn’t give an example of a project in trouble or a situation that wasn’t being handled, it was simply his reaction. Yet how insensitive was this conversation that he didn’t care about her health issues, ask what the doctors were saying or how anything else?  She felt, and rightly so that he didn’t care about her and felt unimportant and undervalued.  How could she not?  Where was his compassion?

Too often companies focus on achieving goals/results versus the cost to the people who work for them.  Asking people to work late into the night, over the weekend and even give up vacations is not uncommon with these companies.  I was working with a company who had a big project deliverable.  One of their employees, while on vacation, took two days to assist in making the deadline.  What was his manager’s response?  No thank you, no signs of appreciation…simply complaining about his lack of availability when she needed something and it might take him a hour or more to respond to her request. 

How do you demonstrate compassion?  It starts with genuinely and completely caring about them as people first, not chess pieces on your board you move around and discard as you see fit.  It required you to be listening.  You can’t have compassion for others unless you listen to them and get to know them and their needs. 

Knowing their child was having surgery yesterday (however minor), or they are trying to buy a house, or their inlaws are visiting for a month…life situations, and then asking them about it demonstrates you care.  People are loyal to those they think care.  The thoughtful gesture, the much needed support, the kind words you speak to them, and the events you remember are more important to people than money.  Compassion is what’s needed in today’s leadership skill set.  If you want loyal, engaged employees be compassionate…it will help you reach your goals and be successful.  A win/win for everyone.

What’s the next step?  Take our leadership quiz and find out your leadership style.  We will provide you with information on how your style is working for or against you.  We will include ideas on ways to develop your style so it supports you and your goals.

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