When an organization faces big challenges such as a huge loss of market share, a public image crisis at the senior leadership level, a shift in government regulations that impacts the industry the leadership tends to hunker down and go into authoritarian crisis mode.

Certainly there are times it makes sense to make tough decisions, focus on the bottom line at the expense of people, it’s not sustainable, at least not if you want a healthy company.  

Sometimes, having a difficult conversation, before the disaster can lessen the impact should it occur, and maybe prevent it from occurring.  Minimally the difficult conversations can kick-start a company out of stagnation.

But what’s required that enables those difficult conversations to take place?  

Courage is key to having difficult conversations

Saying what needs to be said takes courage.  We’d rather pretend it’s all ok, even if the signs say otherwise. Thinking it’s not so bad is easier.  Having the conversations you know others don’t want to discuss and would rather ignore, that are going to make someone unhappy and maybe emotional is tough…it takes courage.

Doing the right things takes courage

I have a client who has a child with a number of challenges, including substance abuse.  As parents they made the decision to send him to a wilderness camp knowing it would make their son unhappy and may even interfere with their relationship.  Yet they knew that this was a step that was needed, and was what their child needed.  

Being present is key

Difficult conversations are serious.  You, the leader, have to be present and focused on the person and the situation during the conversation.  It can’t be a hurried conversation and you can’t approach it as if you are going into battle.  

Willing to be vulnerable

Vulnerability doesn’t mean exposed.  Vulnerability is a willingness to be honest and recognize and share your part in the outcome.  It means being comfortable with being uncomfortable

and not getting defensive or deflecting.  When people feel safe they will feel more comfortable sharing ideas, taking responsibility and being solution focused.

What does all this mean as it relates to kick-starting out of stagnation?

 When we are successful complacency can easily set in.  Business has always flowed in steadily so we don’t need to worry.  We don’t have much competition which means we can relax and sit back.  It’s a feeling that things have been good, and we see no reason they won’t be in the future…which causes stagnation.

We quit asking ourselves the difficult questions.  What if…”someone comes in and steals a chunk of our market share or we lose our biggest client or our best business development guy or….”.  When someone else brings up these topics we poo-poo their concerns and in the back of our minds see them as a pain. 

Yet without someone being courageous enough to ask the questions and push us into having the conversations we’d rather not have, we as a team and company will stagnate.  Speaking up, not worrying about being popular or liked but focusing on what serves others is not an easy role to play. We all want to be liked by others, and being courageous enough to say what needs said and do what needs done…that takes a special person.

Don’t be afraid of having difficult conversations.  Problems don’t do away just because we ignore them, it doesn’t make them invisible.  Risks, threats and future problems won’t not happen, it’s only a matter of when. Stagnation happens when no one speaks up.

We each have our own leadership style, and that style makes it more or less challenging to step up, be courageous as we face having difficult conversations.  Regardless, we can all learn how to have those conversations more effectively. Take our leadership quiz below and learn your leadership style, and a few tools to consider as you face having a difficult conversation.