Is an employee romance something that management should consider handling

Among those who are married or in a relationship, meeting through friends or family is the most popular way to have met their partner according to Pew Research.  

However, office romances are still on the rise.

Even though many employees are working remotely, workplace romances are on the rise—6 percent more workers reported being involved in a workplace romance in 2022 compared to 2019, according to a January 2022 survey of 550 U.S. employees.

It’s a taboo topic, and no one wants to admit it, but it’s safe to say your employees—or even yourself—might have dated a coworker at one point.

No matter how hard managers try to stop it, it still happens right under their noses.

Years ago, dating a coworker was absolutely forbidden. Now, some managers turn a blind eye and pretend nothing’s happening. The legal grounds and management rules on office affairs have changed, too.

Many companies are more lenient now, as long as it doesn’t affect employee performance.

As the boss, you know that true love might have positive effects on your team.  The happy couple will have more reasons to go to work early, and they’re more satisfied at work. But when they have a fight—or gasp—break up—everything goes south as well.

Resentment, betrayal, passive-aggressive remarks, the team dynamic can be ruined. One couple’s mess can drag the whole team down.

Keeping the balance is hard.

 How to Handle Office Romance Fairly and Keep Everyone Happy

Tip #1:  Accept It.

Okay, okay, I know some of you might not agree with this. But it happens, so make your life easier and just accept the fact. Note that I’m not asking you to condone it, am just asking that you stop denying the existence of such relationships.

Consult your company manual. Does it have guidelines on when to fire an employee dating a co-worker? What about when it’s an employee dating a manager?

Tip #2:  Know that it’s a Secret… One that the Whole Office Knows About

You know what they say about secrets, right? That said, you don’t need to dance around certain topics you already know the answer to. In this case, the rule is: don’t ask, don’t tell.

Managers should respect their employees’ privacy.  At the same time, give team members the opportunity to let you in on their “secret.” Don’t pry, unless it is work related, like someone in HR is asking, or other employees are complaining.

Tip #3:  Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries

Office couples can share work assignments they’ve previously shared before they started dating. They can share new assignments, too, as long as they don’t use their time together to fool around.

Don’t allow them to manipulate their schedule, work assignments or travel opportunities so they can spend more time together.

Tip #4:  Create a Policy for Employee to Employee and Employee to Manager Relationships

The Society for Human Resource Management documented 43% of companies had existing policies specifically for workplace romance.

Yes, office romance is booming—or maybe more people are just open about it.

What about your company? If you don’t have an existing policy yet, now’s the time to create one.

Your policy should state specifically when to fire an employee for having a romantic relationship. Plus, different levels of offenses and corresponding punishments, like a verbal reprimand for a first offender.

When creating a policy, make sure you identify the business management’s expectations. List down if-then situations for handling office break-ups to prevent company liability. For instance, couples who break-up, and can’t work well together afterwards must be separated into different teams. Just make sure the policy won’t leave you vulnerable for a discrimination claim.

Tip #5: Don’t be Complacent

Yes, office romances might not be a big deal for many small businesses. After all, you’re one big happy family, right?

I hate to see what that happy family might turn into if one couple starts fighting. Employees might take sides. It could get ugly. Protect your business.