Globis, a provider of workplace mediation services in the UK, surveyed 200 managers and found that 80% of them know that having difficult conversations are part of their job description.
But despite knowing that good communication skills in the workplace are important, 53% of the surveyed managers said they avoided difficult conversations because they felt they didn’t have enough training in the subject.
What’s your stand on difficult conversations? Would you rather have it and be done with it? Or avoid it and wait for things to just fall into place? Do you think you don’t have enough training to handle such conversations?
As a business owner, you’re responsible for providing your team leaders training to improve their communication skills in the workplace. Not just the typical coaching styles training, but a more comprehensive one that tackles every day office conversations, like mediating disagreements between employees, facilitating meetings where everyone participates—not just the usual talkers, and arguing your point with a superior or subordinate without coming off as a jerk.
This is where open sparring conversation comes in—a form of conversation where participants battle it out, challenging each other’s ideas and point of views in a mature yet friendly way, without much concern over who’s going to win, or who’s going to get the boss’s approval.
Such conversations, however, are difficult to have unless you implement certain guidelines for everyone involved. Here are those guidelines.
How to Improve Your Communication Skills in the Workplace and Make Difficult Conversations Less Awkward
- Before getting to the difficult conversation… warm up with small talk then segue to “I want to talk to you about (difficult subject).
Don’t go into too much detail. Just keep it to a one or three sentence introduction of what you want to talk about and why it’s important to discuss. For example, “I want to discuss our challenges in bringing more partners and funding”, or even a simple, “I want to talk to you about the stuff piling up in your cubicle.”
Starting with a simple, non accusatory lead sets the tone for the whole discussion. Plus, this way whoever you’re talking to won’t get defensive.
After the introduction, allow the other person to respond. Don’t ramble on. Hear their side first.
- You’re the boss, not their mom!
Don’t tell people what to do. They’re not going to do it if you force them. Besides, confronting a difficult issue calls for a negotiation, not an iron hand.
You won’t improve your communication skills in the workplace if you keep ordering people around. Ask questions to discover the root cause of the issue, and try to genuinely understand why people are behaving the way they do.
- Diffuse people’s defensiveness by acknowledging their ideas and emotions.
People won’t truly understand, much less agree to what you’re trying to do or say, if you don’t acknowledge them first.
Acknowledge your team before rambling on about your wants and feelings. It could be as simple as, “I understand how you feel”, or “that’s a good idea.” Outright disagreements won’t get you what you want and it’ll just make difficult conversations much worse.
- Consider the other person’s point of view
Seriously consider the probability that you might be in the wrong. If not, then at least try to see the valid points in the other party’s argument.
Yes, yes, I know it’s hard to do this because it’ll probably ruin your ego, and your brain is too busy outlining the points that back up your argument.
Don’t skip this step, though because it’s important if you want to improve your communication skills in the workplace.
You may not understand why your superior decided to cut your department’s budget, but if you look at things from his side of the fence, you’ll probably understand (not agree!) where he’s coming from. The same goes for difficult conversations and arguments with your team.
Lastly, respect everyone. You may not see eye to eye, but remember that this person is a part of your team. He or she might have once done good work that you applauded.
And if you’ve explained your case well enough, but the final decision still goes against your belief then just leave it be. Don’t be a bitter loser. Knowing how to lose an argument valiantly is also a sign of having commendable communication skills in the workplace.
© 2015 Incedo Group, LLC
