Pick up any magazine or do a search on the Internet and you’ll find there is a connection between successful people and goal setting.  It makes sense.

Those that want something go after it and usually achieve it with goal setting.

Maybe they had one big goal but more likely they had a number of little goals that pointed them in the right direction.

Here’s something else they all likely did as well….they failed along the way, determined what they needed to learn, didn’t spend time beating themselves up for the misstep or failure, and moved on. 

About ten years ago many of my clients were asking me to work with managers who reported to them.  For a variety of reasons, I don’t coach someone who reports to someone I am working with.  The request was happening often enough though,  I decided to bring on a number of coaches who could work with clients I wasn’t going to coach.

Before starting I reached out to five or six colleagues for advice.  I tapped into some of the smartest minds in the coaching business, and legal minds I knew.  After a year I was ready to go…everything was in place. Within 18 months after starting this initiative I had fired all but one coach (there were 10 when I started), had frustrated a number of clients, and lost over $75,000 which is a huge amount of money for any business, let alone a small business like mine. 

I was devastated.  What went wrong? I had planned, set goals, asked for advice, built a stellar team (or so I thought), and yet it all fell apart.  I went through what I refer to as my crisis of confidence phase, for over six months. If all my planning and input from those smarter than me didn’t ensure success how could I trust myself to ever make a decision that would be successful?

But I got past it and years later I look back at that experience with gratitude for what I learned and for having the experience.   How did I get past all this?  

The problem with staying stuck in negative thinking is it interferes with your ability to be creative and think clearly.  Even if you come up with solutions to problems you are more likely to be slow to take action, often missing opportunities.  For leaders problem solving, creative thinking, focus and the ability to take action are key to success.

Steps to Stop Negative Thinking and Start Goal Setting

Step 1: Acknowledge your negative thinking. 

Ignoring your negative thinking or pretending all is ok won’t move you past it. In fact, the opposite is true. As you pretend to ignore it will creep into your thoughts and actions. You will become more cautious about taking action and more resistant to new ideas and change.

Everyone overthinks sometimes, especially when goal setting. But when you find yourself not making decisions and obsessing with negative thoughts about what didn’t work it’s time to pay attention to what’s in your head.

You can’t make any conscious choices to shift your thinking until you acknowledge your negative thinking.

Step 2: Get over the shame. 

Shame is such a devastating feeling.  When my endeavor to have a group of coaches working for me failed I was full of shame.  I didn’t want to acknowledge the failure to others and prayed no one would ask me how it was going.  The shame was one of the factors that affected my confidence.

Until you can get past the shame you can’t get to the next step.

Step 3: Focus on problem-solving and goal setting. 

Often we stay stuck in negative thinking and focus on what went wrong.  I’m not suggesting you don’t assess what you can learn from the situation.  The point is to assess and not focus on the negatives. 

Step 4: List what you would do differently.

Evaluate if you could have known these things beforehand or they were out of your control regardless. 

And get into action. Can you fix the situation somehow or do you need to put it behind you? What steps can you take going forward that might prevent a similar outcome?  What’s your next goal or target?

Get into action and you’ll find you mentally feel better, and positive things will begin to unfold.

Step 5: Focus on what worked rather than what didn’t. 

Too often we spend our time focusing on what didn’t work, how far we have to go, and what we need to do differently.  Instead, take time to list what is working, how far you’ve come, and your success to date. Make an effort to be objective. 

It’s uplifting to acknowledge the positives rather than focus on the negatives.

Remember to take small steps, then bigger ones. 

Start with small goals, even something personal, and take action.  Then set a slightly bigger goal and another and another. The old adage about getting back on the horse once you’ve fallen off applies.  It’s a process and it begins with one small step.

Remember even successful people have failures.

As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.

Take a step and begin to think about setting goals.  Often moving into action is just what we need to get past negative thinking.  We have created a goal setting guide to help you develop goals. 

Download The Guide to Setting Goals and Milestones at the link below.